Plus None

• Detox – In this day and age, a lot of people are hyper-vigilant about toxins that go into our body via food.  But, when did we forget that not everything that goes into our body enters via the mouth? Our ears and eyes take all of the information given to us and process it.  Some is edifying and some isn’t.  All of those hurtful barbs thrown at us, and all of the visuals we see and criticize ourselves about still enter.  And they can cause havoc, “10 Little Monkey” kind of havoc.  Sometimes a good detox is needed; detox from friends that may or may not be good for us and detox from what we’re reading or watching.  We have to clean out the muck and the toxins so we can start fresh and refocus.

• Find a new way – There’s not always just one way to get to the summit.  Sometimes we have to blaze new paths.  This time around I’m trying something new: acupuncture and Chinese medicine.  The anti-depressants I’ve taken in the past mask the symptoms so I can, theoretically, work through the issues.  But, they also come with lovely side effects.  The nausea, ear ringing and crazy dreams just weren’t as appealing to me this time.  So far, it’s helping….a lot.  As I lay on the table last weekend, Dr. J put the last needle in, said a prayer and left me to relax.  He hadn’t even shut the door before the waterworks began streaming.  It was like all of the negative energy that had been building was finally allowed a release.  Eastern medicine isn’t a quick cure. And, quite honestly, I’m tired of quick fixes because they, more often than not, are just temporary.

• Be honest and take the power back – Not everyone has a problem with this, but I do.  It’s not that I lie to people, it’s that I’m a people pleaser.  Which, some of my friends would be surprised at.  If I’m honest and opinionated with you, take it as a compliment.  If you give me a criticism about what I’m doing, saying or wearing and I’m mouthy with you, it’s because I trust you.  I trust that you love me and aren’t playing games with me.  It’s really counter-intuitive to allow someone you don’t fully trust to play with your head, but it happens.  And for me, it happens a lot. I don’t know why I’ve given these people power over me.  Why do I care what a random stranger thinks of my choice of music or hairstyle?  Why do I let someone, who may or may not be there for me in six months, have a say in how I feel about my physical appearance?  I can’t tell you why.  Well…I probably could, but we don’t need a dissertation here.  What I do know is that I’m pretty much done with it.  I’m done giving power to those who have done nothing to deserve it.  I don’t think it will be easy for me, but if I start standing up to you and you fall in the latter group, be aware.

• Wear red lipstick – Yes, you read that right.  Some days a little “fake it til you make it” needs to happen. For me, there is something empowering about wearing the perfect red lipstick.  For me it’s Red Velvet by Besame.  It makes me feel pretty and feminine even on a bad day.  It makes my teeth look whiter and makes me smile more often.  For you it might be wearing a pair of killer heels, your favorite jeans or that t-shirt that fits just perfectly.  When I feel ugly about myself, red lipstick helps.  It reminds me that, regardless of what my head may be trying to tell me, I am pretty and I am worthy.  It may seem shallow to some, but hey…whatever works.  And for me, it does. 

In September, the days were still warm and the trees were not quite ready to change yet.


By October, the days were beginning to shorten and the forest started to show signs of relenting.



November has now come and the days are even shorter.  The Ozarks have begun to slip into the final flourish.  Squirrels are running about gathering the last acorns and the deer are making their final movements before winter comes.  It has been a magnificent autumn and I feel privileged to have witnessed it so intimately this year.

Ok...so here goes nothing.  I did my first vlog.  Not the most scintillating topic, but it's an attempt to make me regular at posting.  Tomorrow should be much more interesting as it's what I have trouble controlling my spending on.  Oh yes...that should be good.  So...here goes nothing....

So, there are a couple of things that have been rattling around in my brain the last week or so.  One, I've been going over and over my bucket list in my head trying to figure out what to accomplish next.  Two, I've had ideas pop into my head about blogging, but I never seem to get around to actually doing it.  So, I guess I'll start from the start.

One of my bestest bestest friends in the world "A" had encouraged me to make a bucket list.  I'll be honest, I was not over the moon at the prospect.  It made me think of ridiculous mass-marketed movies and those Franklin Covey people.  You know what people I'm talking about.  SUPER positive about everything and more energy than a kitten on speed.  Not that those people are bad or don't have a place in this world, I mean...they get stuff done.  They are driven in a way that I could never understand.  I am what you would call "laid back."  I leave the driving the to the Mario Andrettis of the world.

But, I digress.....

So, back to the bucket list.  The more that I thought about it, the more I liked it.  It was a list (which I like). I could check stuff off (which I also like).  And I would get to do things I actually WANT to do (BONUS).  Usually, when I have lists, they're made up of non-fun related things...like toilet paper, laundry, mop the bathroom floor.  Grrrrr....   I don't like those lists.  So, I made my list.  It currently has about 40 things on it and looks a little like this:

In so many ways, we are a culture obsessed with knowledge.  We have to know what is going on in every arena of popular culture at every minute.  Entire life stories are compressed into soundbites.  We listen to endless theories on what happened, how it happened and what the motives were.  For example, Whitney Huston's recent passing.  It was not enough for the public to know that she died.  They had to know all of the possible circumstances surrounding her death.  Not on a realistic medical/legal timeline, but on their own.  Which, of course, meant immediately.

So, if we really look at our culture's obsession closely, it is not one obsessed with knowledge, but with theories.  This same obsession makes it way into our religious beliefs.  For some, it is not enough to know that Jesus died for our sins and rose again.  They must pick apart the who, what, where, when and why.  It is not enough for them to simply believe that God created the world and everything in it.  They must theorize how God did it.  Was it literally seven, twenty-four hour days? Did he wave a wand?  Could dinosaurs possibly exist?

My answer to this is:  who cares.

Does it matter how God chose to create the world?  Or, does it matter more that God chose to create it in the first place?

Does it matter if Jesus was white, black or middle eastern?  Or, does it matter more that Jesus was God incarnate and that he came to us in human form in order to save us from ourselves?

Christian culture, just like the rest of the world, gets caught up in these theories that, at the end of the day, don't matter.  These theories have been divisive within the Christian community since...well...as far back as anyone can really remember.   This is why we have so many denominations.  And it's funny.  At the core for most are the same truths.  It is the theories that have divided us, not the truths.  And theories, although they may be entertaining and interesting, are just theories.  What matters is the truth.

Maybe once we are able to put speculation behind us and truth before us, we will be able to see each other, and more importantly God, more clearly.

So, once again, it's Lenten season.  I just realized I haven't posted a blog since last year.  I guess that's just what happens when life takes over.  I've been trying to give a lot of thought lately to what sacrifice I can make this year and the only thing that comes to mind (besides coffee) is time.  Time is what I try to hoard more than anything.  Last year's coffee sacrifice went swimmingly, but I think I'll keep it this year in exchange for a new idea; a new commitment.

Something I heard in mass tonight really stuck with me.  Father Miller was talking about how we, so often, use this time as a time for us.  For self-improvement and other things that we can be proud of.  And, how this really isn't the purpose.  We are reminded all the time that Jesus walks with us through our lives.  He is beside us in good times and bad.  What we fail to consider is: although He walks with us, when was the last time that we walked with Him?  He spent 40 days in the wilderness fasting and self-examining.  When was the last time I spent time examining my life with Him?  Reflecting on deeper truths?  Truth be told, it's been awhile.

So, my new commitment this season is to spend time daily in true self reflection.  I don't plan on it being very pretty.  I'm sure I have some things that He may call me to task on.  I'm kind of a willful child, to be honest.  Some of what I reflect on, I hope to share here.  I don't know if I'll have the nerve to put it all out here or keep some to myself.  But this is my commitment for the season.

For now, I'm going to make a cup of coffee.

So, if you know me, you know how much I love coffee.  Like seriously love.  I love coffee more that my ex-husband (which kind of goes without saying since he's an "ex").  I did one of those things at the end of the year on Facebook last year and "coffee" was the most used word in my status updates.  I love the smell of it first thing in the morning and the way that it warms everything up on it's way down.