Plus None

Ok...so this has been the topic of conversation more than a couple of times in the last few weeks.  There are several of us who, through a myriad of circumstances, find ourselves single and in our 30's.  So, if television and movies were accurate (yeah right...) we'd all be able to find dates for Friday night well into our 60's.  But let's get real!  I haven't had a date in years.  Well...not a proper date at any rate.  And the last guy I dated lied about his age.  Turns out, he was a couple of years younger than my parents.  That was definitely therapy-worthy fodder right there.

So where have all of the good men (and women for my male friends) gone?  It seems that once we reach our 30's everyone has paired up.  Well, the ones that aren't sociopaths.  But then we think, "Wait. I'm not a sociopath.  I know others that are single that aren't sociopaths."  So why aren't the sane singles asking other sane singles out?  The honest answer...I don't have a clue.

My brother, who is in the same boat as me, was reflecting on this.  For men, there have been a few (or more) women who have been absolute nut jobs.  These women (dare I call them that) have basically crushed the normal men and left them very wary of any other relationships.  The rest of the men just want airhead bimbos...not that I'm judging...wait...yes I am. 

So, I asked about women in the same situation.  I mean, I'm not Cindy Crawford, but I'm not horrible to look at, I'm educated, intelligent, kind of funny (if I do say so myself), have a great job and generally have a pretty good life.

I guess that this is the problem.  Men are (according to my sources) intimidated by these kind of women.  REALLY???  SERIOUSLY???  So...here's my response to that.  Grow a pair! 

We are fabulous women!  We are diverse and beautiful and no matter how successful we become, we will always need (and yes, I said 'need') a man for certain things.  And, get your mind out of the gutter because I'm not talking about sex (although I'm not discounting that either).  We need men for a sense of security that we can never have on our own.  We need men for a perspective other than our own.  We need men to give us a reality check sometimes...even if we don't always want one.  

So guys...take a chance.  Some of us may surprise you.

When did this happen to me?  When did I become old enough to wake up before 7 am on a Saturday?  Here it is, 8 am, and I'm showered, dressed (sans makeup) and presentable enough to go next door for coffee.  And it's a weekend.  I have nowhere to be...well, yet, in any case.

So I've been thinking a lot about the whole "single" thing lately.  Not that I mind being single.  There are a lot of pluses to it.  For one, I get the whole bed to myself. (pure joy)  If I don't feel like cooking, I am perfectly happy to live off of crackers, cheese and a cuppa tea.  I can decorate the way I like.  If I don't want to do housework, it's nobody's business but mine.  (I just might not invite you over until I finally do.)  And, my time is spent on the priorities I make.  So, keep in mind two things as I proceed:  1) I enjoy being single most of the time.  2) these are generalizations, and as much as I may get frustrated (on occasion), I still love my friends.

Once you get to a certain age, the majority of your friends are married, engaged, with children, etc.  When you are the only single friend that many of them have, it becomes disheartening when you are not invited for dinner parties, outings, group vacations, etc. simply because you're single.  Their general excuse is that they don't want you to feel "out of place," "a third wheel," and many other equally offensive cliches.   The following is my response to this:


We love hanging out with you, alone or with other friends.  We love to talk to you, alone or with other friends.  We want to listen to everything you have to say about life, love, kids (in moderation) …anything.  The one thing we ask is this: Don't monopolize the conversation and listen to what we have to say too.  Don’t write off what we’re saying because it’s different from your life.  Listen to our problems about our love life (or lack thereof), dogs, work or whatever.  Our lives are as important to us as yours is to you.    And we have our problems, joys and things we just can’t wait to share, just like you.  

We love you just the way you are.  We are happy that you love your life the way it is.  So do we.  And, we want you to feel the same about us.  Being single is not a glamorous life…it’s just another type of life.

So...I guess I'm behind the times since this is really the first blog I've ever done. This, of course, is nothing new. I'm usually behind the times on any number of things...especially technology. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against it in any way. I just don't embrace as much of it as I could.

This brings me to my newest obsession. Vintage. Vintage what? Vintage everything. About 10 months ago I moved into an apartment that was built in 1914 and still has all of it's original charm. Enameled kitchen sink, clawfoot tub, beamed ceilings. I couldn't ask for more! This one little change in my life has ushered in a whole re-found love for vintage. From the 40's club chair to the art deco side table, I have completely rediscovered all things old.

I remember in high school my favourite movie was Pretty in Pink. I would watch that movie and obsess over Annie Potts' ever-changing outfits and Molly Ringwald's constant mingling of new and old. I would scour the vintage shops in town and find absolute gems! The pink and cream 30's swing coat, the black go-go dress, ash trays, jewelry...I loved them all.

And then something happened. I don't know what it was exactly. But, I stopped shopping vintage and started shopping new. Somewhere, somehow, I got it into my head that vintage was just old...not special. For close to 15 years I shunned all things vintage in favour of all things "shiny and new". And there was nothing special. And, everyone else had exactly what I had. And, the quality was marginal. And, And, And......

And I just woke up. Finally...again.