When did this happen to me? When did I become old enough to wake up before 7 am on a Saturday? Here it is, 8 am, and I'm showered, dressed (sans makeup) and presentable enough to go next door for coffee. And it's a weekend. I have nowhere to be...well, yet, in any case.
So I've been thinking a lot about the whole "single" thing lately. Not that I mind being single. There are a lot of pluses to it. For one, I get the whole bed to myself. (pure joy) If I don't feel like cooking, I am perfectly happy to live off of crackers, cheese and a cuppa tea. I can decorate the way I like. If I don't want to do housework, it's nobody's business but mine. (I just might not invite you over until I finally do.) And, my time is spent on the priorities I make. So, keep in mind two things as I proceed: 1) I enjoy being single most of the time. 2) these are generalizations, and as much as I may get frustrated (on occasion), I still love my friends.
Once you get to a certain age, the majority of your friends are married, engaged, with children, etc. When you are the only single friend that many of them have, it becomes disheartening when you are not invited for dinner parties, outings, group vacations, etc. simply because you're single. Their general excuse is that they don't want you to feel "out of place," "a third wheel," and many other equally offensive cliches. The following is my response to this:
We love hanging out with you, alone or with other friends. We love to talk to you, alone or with other friends. We want to listen to everything you have to say about life, love, kids (in moderation) …anything. The one thing we ask is this: Don't monopolize the conversation and listen to what we have to say too. Don’t write off what we’re saying because it’s different from your life. Listen to our problems about our love life (or lack thereof), dogs, work or whatever. Our lives are as important to us as yours is to you. And we have our problems, joys and things we just can’t wait to share, just like you.
We love you just the way you are. We are happy that you love your life the way it is. So do we. And, we want you to feel the same about us. Being single is not a glamorous life…it’s just another type of life.
So I've been thinking a lot about the whole "single" thing lately. Not that I mind being single. There are a lot of pluses to it. For one, I get the whole bed to myself. (pure joy) If I don't feel like cooking, I am perfectly happy to live off of crackers, cheese and a cuppa tea. I can decorate the way I like. If I don't want to do housework, it's nobody's business but mine. (I just might not invite you over until I finally do.) And, my time is spent on the priorities I make. So, keep in mind two things as I proceed: 1) I enjoy being single most of the time. 2) these are generalizations, and as much as I may get frustrated (on occasion), I still love my friends.
Once you get to a certain age, the majority of your friends are married, engaged, with children, etc. When you are the only single friend that many of them have, it becomes disheartening when you are not invited for dinner parties, outings, group vacations, etc. simply because you're single. Their general excuse is that they don't want you to feel "out of place," "a third wheel," and many other equally offensive cliches. The following is my response to this:
You don’t need to feel like we need a date or some sort of male companion if you’re having a party. It’s really not necessary. We’re completely at ease talking to anyone that you would consider having as a friend. We love meeting new people (married or not). And we do like feeling included. So invite us to your parties, we need a good excuse to get out of the house and not spend all of our free time watching re-runs in our slippers and pj pants. As fabulous as it may sound to you, it can get a bit boring for us.
Ok…so we don’t necessarily love the person you chose for a mate. It’s just because we really treasure you as a person and have a hard time believing that anyone could be good enough for you. However, even if we don’t love them, we love you. And we will act as perfectly lovely people when around them. We will not criticize them. We will not throw hurtful jabs. And, we will always be supportive…even if we don’t always feel like it. So invite us to hang out for a dinner or a movie night at yours. And we will also make an effort to do the same.
We love you just the way you are. We are happy that you love your life the way it is. So do we. And, we want you to feel the same about us. Being single is not a glamorous life…it’s just another type of life.
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